Support

Support. Just how do you visualize support? A good bra, an uncomfortable girdle, a tight pair of pantyhose, a steel beam, a pole to uphold. Just what does this word mean? Foundation, a base, corroboration, to maintain (keep something going), comfort, champion, rally, encourage. Now that we have explored the descriptors of the word, let's look at the physical aspect. Who do you see as a support? Parents, friends, family, spouses, children, clergy, co-workers, people with something in common. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. My support system started when I was very young. I felt the love, care and concern of parents, family and as I got older, as is natural for maturing into adolescence, friends. I felt support from teachers and church people. As I look at my journey in this new lifestyle I have begun, I stop and think how it began.

My friend Shawna and I have discussed my weight for so many years it became a 2nd nature conversation. I have battled my weight for many years. Just last week at my primary physician's checkup we looked back at my medical files to figure out when was the last time I was below 200 pounds. Over 15 years ago. I remember it being over 30 years ago that I was around 130 pounds. So I have battled this frustrating war for a long time. Actually way over 1/2 of my life.

My first real support in this journey came with my neurologist who suggested I have this surgery over 2 years ago. I said I didn't need it because I hadn't "explored" all my options. My parents were there to support whatever decision I made. My decision was to try Weight Watchers. My next big support was my friend Shawna. She often has opened up conversations that have forced me to think. She has nailed me to the wall when I didn't want to face the reality, but knew she was right. Eventually "wearing me down" until I was ready to admit what needed to be done. Talk about love for a friend! Well, her persistence in trying to open my mind to the realities of my health yet showing me what I felt was always valid finally led me to look seriously at many issues. I began research via internet, books and anything I could get my hands on. She also invited me to attend a support meeting at Geary Community Hospital - Innovative Weight Loss Solutions in Junction City, Ks. In doing so, I made up my mind from this meeting, a following informational meeting and my own prior research. I went home and talked to my main support-my parents. I told them about the meetings I had just attended and that I had decided to have Roux-n-Y gastric bypass surgery. I think there was some fear in their minds. I'm sure this is because they knew it was what I needed; they knew it was not something I had wanted and their own lack of knowledge about the procedure. I invited them to watch some surgeries on the internet so they could visualize what I was going to face. They both watched some surgeries. I went over the written materials I had and they read some information I was able to send to them via internet. I've talked about my support of Shawna. Next I think of family. I'm not sure how they feel completely, but they are there for me. I have a friend that was frightened from the beginning when I told her what I planned to do. I know I worried her all they way through the actual surgery. She is better I think since seeing my healing. In time I know she will accept this as just being me now. Her support was so uplifting through it all. She called me everyday from the day before surgery until 2 weeks after including the 1st day I returned to work. Now that is support! I have another friend that has encouraged me from the beginning. So as you can see family and friends can be your best supporters if you keep them in the loop and make sure they understand why you have to do this. Of course I have my doctors' support. I already talked about my neurologist. I can add my primary physician and my 2 chiropractors. They have been great from the beginning. I think in some sense this is a journey for them too.

Just a note about my parents and their support. I had to go on the Optifast diet 1 month before surgery versus the normal 2 weeks of clear liquids diet. This is because my BMI (Body Mass Index) was so high. The Optifast diet meant I could have up to 5 Optifast protein shakes, 1 Optifast protein bar and a frozen entree less than 380 calories a day (Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, etc.). My parents went on a similar diet with me. They bought protein shakes, protein bars and frozen entrees from the store. They got rid of all the foods in the house I wasn't supposed to have. Both have lost weight in the process. I am so proud of them for staying with it in order to support me. Can we say, Love!

Now let's see what support outside the family can be. I have my church affiliated friends, pastor and YMCA water aerobics buddies. They were all there after surgery with words of encouragement, cards and phone calls. My co-workers have supported me in several ways. Many have been very apologetic for having wonderful smelling food before surgery (Optifast month) and after surgery. They felt guilty bringing in pizza, french fries and great smelling hamburgers. They have actually gone as far as to ask if I would mind them ordering ... I always tell them no I don't mind. It is my journey and my responsibility to change. They don't have to change anything for my sake. It is sweet that they think about me though.

Another source of support I can't say enough about. That is the team at Innovative Weight Loss Solutions. I know I have said before how special Ronda, Pam, Jennifer and Terra are. I can't say enough about them. They work hard for their clients. They become a friend. They genuinely care for each patient. They organize the monthly support meeting and do such a great job. Their knowledge and ability to share that knowledge is unreal. I can not say enough about their support. This leads me to the support meeting itself. The information gained in the meeting via speakers and fellow post-op people is immeasurable. The fellow post-op people are there to help each other. In the process they help themselves. I can't say enough about the support felt amongst the people in these meetings.

Sometimes it is hard to find support around you. You have to reach out and let people know what you need. But most important, you have to know yourself what you need. You have to be willing to love yourself enough to expect a lot from yourself. You have to be positive and aggressive in your approach to success. You have to expect to succeed and be honest about what it will take and what you are willing to put into it. You have to realize if you slip you haven't been banned from the wagon. Get back on, take the reins and lead the horses to the goal. It is your decision to do the work and your responsibility to find the support system that works for you and make sure they understand what you need. This may seem like a sermon, but in actuality it is a pep talk to myself. Keep the goal in view and work at it daily.

So you ask what my support system is like. Well, let's just say it is made up of a lot of diverse angels who I respect and who truly want the best for me. I have to keep them up to date. I have to be true to myself and realize I am my own best influence. Your support may be the base, foundation, a champion or an encourager. It may come in the form of a spouse, family member, friend, professional or a stranger. Be open to what may cross your path. Keep an open mind to how that support can feel. Maybe it will feel like a well worn bra, a hard piece of steel to keep you in line or a soft feather mattress. All of them have a different angle on the end result. Accept it and run with it. Most of all be your own supporter and love yourself enough to live the new lifestyle to the fullest extent!

My main support you ask? Well, that is easy. God! He brings all the other supporters I have mentioned into one big package and makes sure I know they are there for me. Thank you to all my support people and thank you God for bringing them into my life!

God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love
and so small He can curl up inside your heart.