Old "Friends" are hard to lose

How do you learn to be positive when things aren’t moving as you envisioned? I received an email from a friend that was frustrated because things aren’t going as she wished. I’ve talked to some people lately that are disheartened because they can’t seem to get past the past, get away from the old habits, and/or stay committed to the plan. Yes, this can be frustrating and lead to temptations you wish you could stay away from. I’m no expert in this, but I do have some things I do to boost my spirit, my will power and my vision.

I remember before surgery I would have “wallowed” in food. It was amazing what 2 really good friends; Little Debbie and Suzy Q could do for my spirits; albeit short lived. I could always rely on swimming in the luxury of chocolate gemettes or as some call them “suicide donuts”. Who could pass up the soothing of a big ‘ole glass of milk and a stack of Oreo cookies? Boredom could always be remedied by the close friend Chester Cheeto. I could always be cheered up with a Snicker. When I felt low about life’s blows such as finances I could depend on a 100,000 dollar bar. Any situation that didn’t “feel” right could be handled with a little chewing. Well, I guess now I still chew, but not by physically moving my jaws. Yes I still fall into the chewing thinking. I’m a little more intelligent with my choices though. Now instead of a pastry I have an apple or orange or some type of fruit. Instead of chips I have beef jerky, cottage cheese, a hard boiled egg or a few Triscuits and some cheese. I have to watch myself closely to make sure I don’t fall into the “grazing” habit.

Usually I try to focus on other avenues. That is what I mean when I say I still chew, but not physically. The fastest means to guide myself out of the old habits is to look at my goals, my wish list, my grateful list and my progress journal. These have become incentives and spirit boosters for me. I think of how much better my health is. I look at what I can do now that I couldn’t do 6 months ago. I check out the size of my pants, shirts, bras, underwear, coats, etc. Even the looseness of my watch, bracelets and ring can bring things into perspective. I call it positive outlook. I view things on a need basis. If I think I want to invite “Famous Dave” (greasy Bar-B-Que) over for lunch or eat the plate of ginger cookies, I think in the realm of “Do I need it?” That in itself will provide the answer I need to walk away and not rely on my will power alone. When “will power” isn’t enough, look to your “want power”. What do you want most? Imagine the benefits of your wants. I want to be healthier. I want to be able to do things I didn’t used to be able to do. I want to look better. The list is endless. First you have to make the list. This may take time and a lot of thinking, analyzing and truthful soul searching, but it will be worth every second you spend. Those seconds spent on making that list to refer to in your moment of weakness may be the seconds of salvation in that moment of weakness. This can relate to any area of life, not just eating.

I envision what will happen if I give into that “want”. I have several friends who do not understand the mind frame of someone who relied on food for fulfillment other than for nutrition value. They say, “Oh a little nibble won’t make a difference.” They are right. A little nibble won’t make a difference, but history tells me a little nibble is not in my vocabulary. So I know if I give into that ‘want” and have a little nibble it will most likely lead to a big bite and then a habit. So I do not tempt myself, but love myself enough to say and believe; I do not need it. Therefore a habit does not have a toe hold on me. I know this may seem simplistic and it is, but it is not always easy. Yes, sometimes I fail. Not usually by eating something I shouldn’t, but by eating when I don’t need to. At that point I rely back on my vision, and find that spirit boosting “thing” that will help me grab my bootstraps and yank myself out of the muck. Sometimes that may be my lists, my friends, my God, my support system or a personal pep talk. One and all work! I don’t beat myself up for a slip. I look at it as I once read, “they are instances of living”.

Many people know I loved Sonic’s cherry vanilla limeade or cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper. I had my last one (of each) June 20, 2008. I started the Optifast diet for prepping for surgery on June 21st. Well, since surgery I have wanted one of either and both. I think I have a high enough tolerance of sugar to be able to enjoy them. I also know I won’t have the will power to only have one now and then. If I have the 1st one I will have another 1st one every day. Therefore I don’t even go there. I would be lying if I said I am not tempted to have one and take my chances. But I also can truthfully say I talk myself out of it every time that nasty want bug infests my thinking. With the help of prayer, diverted thinking and progress vision I have not given that bug room to grow. I am amazed at a year ago food was my main focus. My focus was centered on what I was going to eat, how I was going to get it and when I would get to eat. Now my focus is on other avenues of fulfillment and food isn’t as appealing to me. I know I am still in the “honeymoon” phase. That is why I am working hard to set my routines, habits, thinking and lifestyle on the positive side.

So to revisit my initial question-how do you learn to be positive when things aren’t moving as you envisioned? Envision your initial reason(s) - your reason for wanting or having surgery or whatever goal you wanted to accomplish. Assess your progress. Assess the process to get to that goal. Re-evaluate your needs and draw a map to reach that goal. The road to success is never easy, but it is certainly fulfilling. The journey may seem long, so make the small steps 1st. You can’t overtake a staircase in one leap. Each step must be walked and experienced. It makes the journey so much easier and more appreciated.

Now that it is the last week of January I challenge you to look at the goal(s) you set for 2009. If you haven’t set any yet, I encourage you to do it now. It is never too late to set a new goal. Assess your progress and have at it. If you’ve accomplished a goal, pat yourself on the back. This is a neat self booster! Reward yourself with something non-food; like a new shirt, a new CD, a massage, a book, time spent with a friend or anything you can imagine and would enjoy. If you’ve abandoned your goal and it is still a valid goal, grab it by the neck and hold on tight. Hug it close to yourself and feel it in your soul and work hard to attain it. I wish you luck in this journey called life. But remember, we make our own luck by hard work, God’s blessings and the supporting people we surround ourselves with.

"Those who trust to chance must abide by the results of chance."
~Calvin Coolidge~