"We all have fears"

“We all have fears”. My “fear” this last week was another gain. The week before I talked about having a cold and not getting to the “Y” and gaining a pound. Well, this week I felt better, but still struggled with energy. It has been a slow recovery from this cold. I still have the sniffles and a few coughs and a sneeze or two. I’m not ready to give up my Kleenex and hand sanitizer gel. The most prominent symptom was what I call my “sexy radio voice”. It is actually improving and people are able to hear all the words in a sentence. Anyway, I was able to get to the “Y” 3 times this week. I did a full workout on those days and I lost 4 ½ pounds. The week before was probably just water gain. I guess I needed the gain in order to get my butt in gear and get back to the “Y”.

Another common “fear” is gearing up for the Christmas “feasts”. I doubt it will affect me much. I still don’t eat as often as I should. I get some hunger urges, but no real hunger pains. I still end up going some days on one meal, especially if I am busy. When I do eat it is an appropriate portion and I always get my protein in first. Even when I do splurge and have some crackers I put cheese sticks with them. It is a small snack and I get some protein to supplement the cracker urge.

I have to tackle the “fear” of giving into favorites. I have been faced this last week with things I would normally give into the want for. I was sitting in the computer room and a very familiar smell came drifting in. I instantly thought, “Oh man!!” A thought hit me I hadn’t even thought about. You see, my dad makes the world’s BEST peanut brittle. People from all over the world scamper for it. Okay, maybe not all over the world, but a lot of people anticipate his peanut brittle and he only makes it at Christmas. It melts in your mouth. Well, it dawned on me I would never be able to taste it again. Sure, I could try a small sliver and see if my body would accept it. I know I am high sugar tolerant. But once again I have to think about if I can tolerate it, can I stay away from it. I don’t choose to find out. I once again look at the situation as I don’t need it. This way I do not ever feel deprived like I would if I thought “I can’t have it”. I had the same “temptation” with ginger cookies (my favorite is the large soft ones). I was able to acknowledge they were my favorite cookie. But I also was able to acknowledge the fact I didn’t need them. Therefore I went merrily on my way and didn’t even consider eating one. I’ve heard it said it is in the attitude. I hope I always keep this attitude.

I have set a new goal for myself. Starting in January I will once again work the power shift. This means getting off work at 2:30am and having permanent Sunday/Monday off. I had the option of accepting the schedule or not accepting it and staying with my current hours and rotating days off. I had to seriously look at how it would affect my time at the “Y”. The “Y” is a high priority in my life. I will have to give up the organized water aerobics that meets at 8am. I just don’t see me getting in bed at 3am and getting up to be at the “Y” at 8am. So I had to figure out how that would affect my health seeking regimen. Well, I have decided I will go to the aerobics class on Mondays only instead of 3 times a week. The other 4 days I will divide up my already established routine with the cardio and weight machines. The difference is I will increase the variety of machines and do just them on Tuesday and Thursday. I will do just the cardio on Wednesday and Friday. I will get with Hope my “Y” trainer so we can work out a new regimen for both segments. I want to really focus on the trouble areas that have developed since surgery/weight loss. I want to intensify my workout on the abs, upper arm wings and the jelly thighs (upper legs). God always provides for what we need.

Setting goals is one of the most important aspects of this new lifestyle. I feel if I get stagnant in my routines and progress I fear I will become complacent and back step. Once again the attitude comes in. If I have realistic baby step goals that lead to the large overall goal I can see the progress and keep the positive attitude. I know I will have the negative minutes, hours and some times days, but overall the picture will be a beautiful painting. I already see some of the beauty of the surgery. I feel so much better and have hit so many goals and eliminated so many frustrations, ailments and fears. One of these days very soon I will sit down and write my grateful list and post it. Maybe that will be my 1st 2009 goal. I can write the grateful list and look at the things that I haven’t made it to yet and figure out how I am going to attain them in 2009. It sure will be a better new year’s resolution than the one I have made for the last 25+ years and failed to carry out---loose weight! This year it will be continue the healthy lifestyle and healthy eating to continue that lifestyle. As I said, God is good!

I have lost 73 pounds in 5 months. I am almost halfway to my final goal. I have lost 1/2 of a person! I can't imagine how I carried it all around for so long! I have 20 pounds to go to reach my goal that I set for myself before I see Dr. Hachem January 15th. That works out to just over 3 pounds a week. I think it is do-able.

I pray as you gear up for Christmas and all it entails you will stop and think about what is important. You will stop and remember who provides your strength and blessings. I know who provides mine and I am proud to say he is my savior Jesus Christ. He gives me the will power and the insights to attain my goals. He allows me to meet my “fears” head on and overcome them, because “we all have fears”.

It is not about what life gives me that makes a difference,
it is what I DO with what life gives me that makes a difference.