The humor of exercise and living the gastric lifestyle

OMGoodness! Pilates! My YMCA trainer Hope didn’t tell me I would sweat like an ‘ole sow giving birth to her 1st born. OMGoodness! That exercise ball can be a bucking horse for all I know! Actually I didn’t do so badly. Yes, I had my 1st Pilates class this week after work (6:40-7:30). I got out of my comfort zone. I went to a class knowing no one. I walked in and found the instructor. I deduced she was the one in the front of the class. That was my 1st good move. Speaking of moves. I had no clue what all one can do with an exercise ball. I mean mine at home had been totally used for the purpose of sitting on it so I could make my bed without having to bend over due to back problems. Anyway, I knew I had fought the war with the little round air filled warrior. I ached in places I didn’t know existed on this reduced fat body. The next day I didn’t feel as bad as I anticipated after class. After class the instructor said she would have thought I had done Pilates before. I told her I hadn’t, but had been doing some of the moves just on the mat on my own with Hope’s instructions. She said she could tell I knew what I was doing. Oh how convincing I must have been! Anyway, I am ready to go back next week. I will do one thing differently though. For lunch I will NOT have any type of raw vegetable. Not thinking, I had raw cauliflower, raw cucumber, and raw carrots for lunch. You have NO idea how tough it is to be in a Pilates class (working the abs) with 7 women you do not know and try not to fart with any sound and pray no smell. So next week it is no vegetables and maybe an extra Gut Buddies in the afternoon! (The downfall of gastric bypass surgery is increased gas and increased smell.)

Well, the day after my 1st class I went back to the torture chambers. aka/YMCA to do some stretching, biking and light strength weight lifting. No Pilates type moves for me. I wanted to stretch though so I didn’t suffer more than I needed too for the rest of the day.

My 1st Pilates class was on Wednesday night. My 2nd Pilates class was on Friday morning. Talk about sacrifice! I had class from 8:30am-9:15am. I rushed home (within the speed limit) and hopped in the shower so I could leave the house by 10am to be to work and in my work position by 10:30am. Breakfast was at work and consisted of 10 slices of deli turkey and 10 slices of deli ham, 6 cherry tomatoes and 3 pickle size cucumbers in red wine vinegar. Then about 2 hours or so later I had 2 oz of cheese with 10 baked crackers. Guess I better get used to this routine on Fridays.

Anyway my 2nd Pilates class was supposed to be (according to Hope) more like a beginner’s class. Excuse me, beginners for whom? I once again became that sow and pushed out the 1st born with sweat dripping off the end of my nose, down the nape of my neck and between areas no one should have to imagine. Sorry for placing that visual in you mind! Shake your head and move on to the next vision. The instructor said, “Lay on your back and bring your knees to your chest. Wrap you arms around you knees and rock to a sitting position.” A what? I haven’t had the ability to sit from a laying position since I was a toddler. Needless to say this out of shape body only rocked her chest to an elevated position. I figured I am doing more than I did a week ago and it will only get better with practice. I’m not even shooting for perfection here, just improvement! Now that is a stretched concept for a perfectionist.

Hope was correct in the fact Wednesday’s class was more advanced than Friday’s (beginner’s level). Wednesday’s class involved time on the exercise ball. Friday’s class was on the floor. We also used some light weight barbells. I used 4 pounds. They were relatively comfortable until the last exercise that challenged the shoulders. Wow! I do have muscles in areas I didn’t know there were cells; other than fat cells. As the saying goes, “Brain cells die, but fat cells live forever.”

I knew balancing on the ball would be challenging. It was too. I never thought balancing on the floor would be a challenge. I almost fell off the floor several times. Imagine the sight of someone balancing on knees and hands in a cat position with one leg straight out in back and the opposite arm straight out in front. Now imagine the thunder of someone falling over on the floor. Yes, that would be me (almost) a few times. Ronda and I discussed the fact when someone loses weight their balance is affected. It changes the center of gravity. Well, I have been noticing that often lately. I just figured it was the ear problem I have been battling for over a month now, but I think it has been going on longer than that when I think about it. Therefore, Pilates is an extra challenge for the balance issues. Welcome to the comedy world of the weeble that wobbles but doesn’t fall down. Let’s hope it remains that way. But if by chance I fall off my ball or off my floor mat, I will get back up and try again.

I’ll do what I can at the level I am at. I just hope no one in these classes thinks, “Wow, she is a klutz.” Some day I will be as “graceful” as they are. Okay, maybe not. I’ve never been called graceful. In Junior high I was talented for volleyball and basketball, but graceful wasn’t at the top of the list of requirements there.

A few hours after Friday’s class while at work, sitting and minding my own business, doing my job, and a darn good job if I have to say so myself. I got up to get something across the room and whooaaah! Someone put clamps on my butt, my thighs, my abs and my hips. Talk about a rude awakening of the muscles. They said, “Hey! Hellooooo! I am here and you have definitely abused me. You have awakened me before my prime and I will let you know I don’t like this.” Well, I said back to them, “Tough! Yes, that is what I will be, is tough! We will do this again on Wednesday night and Friday morning. More so, we will do some exercising on the days prior to that. Now granted I am not a total hard cold- hearted person. I will do some relaxing on Saturday and Sunday, but don’t get too comfortable.” As the saying goes, “no pain, no gain.” Well it isn’t really pain but it certainly is uncomfortable and maybe a little achy. I will survive and so will my muscles. As they grow and strengthen they will be thanking me! I think!

I just pray the results of this “venture” in the world of Pilates will be a visual one from the decreasing in the size of the tire around my middle and the reduction of the flapping wings below my biceps and the slapping of skin on my thighs. Some day may I walk/run and not cause a fire from the thighs rubbing together. May I lift my arms and not knock myself out from the loose skin in my upper arms. May I lose enough flab around the middle to actually be able to lie on my back and bring my knees to my chest; then be able to wrap my arms around my knees and rock to a sitting position. Yes, all this is a result of weight loss.

Hope you have a good one!

Any day I'm vertical is a good day"
~B.J. Gallagher~