Childhood

Remember when you were a kid and you had a balloon? Remember how much fun you had when the top of the balloon wasn’t tied off? You could pull it and let the air seep out and the thinner the top got the more it squealed. The last 2 weeks have been like that for me, except it wasn’t full of fun like the balloon was. This last Thursday was the worst. There was no right side of the bed. No matter which side I crawled out of, it was the wrong side. My “Y” time went fine, but from there it went downhill. I couldn’t cook my eggs right. There’s something unappetizing about whites you can’t peel off the shell and yokes that are like rubber. So I threw them in the trash and skipped breakfast. I figured I haven’t lost enough weight that it would hurt me to wait to eat until lunch. Once at work, nothing pleased me! I found myself letting the air seep out and as the opening was pulled thinner I began to squeal (complain). I even apologized to my coworkers after an hour. I couldn’t stand myself, so I couldn’t imagine how they were standing to work with me.

Did you ever have a “hoppy ball”? When I was somewhere between 7-9 years old I had a hoppy ball. Now days they have hoppy horses and hoppy cows. A hoppy ball is a ball filled with air that has a handle on top that you sit on. It allows you to get from one location to another location quickly. It is an up and down motion. Life is just like a hoppy ball. We have ups and downs and by manipulating the ups and downs we make progress. You have to have both in order to grow and move. Constant use of a hoppy ball can wear you out, but the distance you make is worth it. Just like life’s ups and downs can wear you out but the progress is worth it.

One of my favorite gifts I received was on Christmas when I was 11 years old. I got a unicycle. Have you ever ridden a unicycle? Just like a 2 wheeled bike you have to have balance. One difference—I don’t think a unicycle has training wheels. At least mine didn’t. Now add snow and ice to learning to ride. Remember it was Christmas. Of course I couldn’t wait to ride it, so I took it outside and began to . . . fall off. Eventually I learned to balance, pedal and turn corners; all at the same time. Balance is so important in life. While you are balancing you have to pedal and make turns! Your progress depends on the strength in your legs, your back, the surface you are riding on and your ability to focus ahead and not look down or behind. Just like balancing life you have to have determination, goals, ways to get there and a focus to pedal towards those goals. Yes, there will be times your unicycle will fall out from under you. You just have to pick yourself up, get back on and pedal.

Did any of you have a ventriloquist doll? I did. It was my constant companion until the stuffing spewed out every time his mouth was opened. My imagination was sparked by that doll. Sometimes in life our imagination is the only thing that pulls us through. Imagine being the voice via a different median. I project my dreams and desires through another median. It started in 2008 when I had weight loss surgery. Now I imagine myself healthier, happier and thinner. Just like I did with my ventriloquist doll, I have to concentrate and keep talking to myself in positives. Sometimes that is hard – like this last week. I gave up all my positive positions and optimistic outlook and allowed my attitude to get negative. Then I projected it onto those around me, which just made things worse. I had to put the spewed stuffing of my negative complaining into perspective and work harder to be positive. Some days are like that.

When I was growing up a Frisbee was a popular toy for a friend and me. We would drive to the park and toss the Frisbee for hours. It was teamwork to keep it afloat and not allow it to touch the ground, yet make it fun enough to be more than just a back and forth straight line. We would practice different techniques of throwing. A few years ago Frisbee golf was a popular sport. I think I would have enjoyed it but due to weight and health issues I was unable to participate. Isn’t life after weight loss surgery like a Frisbee? There is so much you can do with it as long as you participate, practice and use you support people to solidify your team. Work together, focus and keep tossing your best shots!

There are other childhood memories I have; such as a Mrs. Beasley doll. Boy wouldn’t that poke-a-dot blue dressed blonde haired bombshell be worth a lot of money these days? How about Raggedy Ann and Andy? I had a pink dressed blonde haired doll I think was called Chatty Cathy. Then there was Smoky the Bear! He ended up being a disappointment. He talked---once. I pulled the string that was attacked to his butt. The ring tied to the string came off and the string coiled into his rear end. He never talked to me again. I guess some people are like that too. I often wonder what happened with people who were once active in my life and very special in my heart and they just faded away like Smoky’s string. I didn’t toss Smoky, but I had to fill my days with other things if I wanted the same results I expected from Smoky. Sometimes it takes years to accept Smoky will never talk again and you must move on in order to edify your life. Where is Smoky now? I don’t know. I lost touch with him, but I still carry his influence with me and have a special place in my heart for him. I’m disappointed, but richer for having him in my life. His place in my heart lives forever, just like those special people.

As you think of your childhood memories I hope you will find the air in your balloon doesn’t seep out and scream, but remains full and floating. I hope your bed only has a right side and you can deal with the ups and downs of life and progress at a comfortable but challenging pace. I hope you balance your activities of work and home and when you get out of balance you get back on and pedal towards your goals. Take all the turns and falls and rough terrain and turn them into positive progress. Project your dreams and desires and fulfill them through focus and whatever means it takes. Even on those days when you don’t feel like being positive and optimistic, put things into perspective and learn. Use your support to toss around those ideas, plans and actions to keep you strong in your game plan. Between both of you, you can find new techniques to toss that “frisbee of life” for more fun and new heights.

Last I hope you take that Smoky the Bear and learn from him; even if he does disappoint you and not live up to you expectations and hopes, because things change. Hold in your heart the lessons he taught in the time he was active in your life. Love him always, never toss him out and revise the energy you spend on him. Just the memories of your times with him may bring a ray of sunshine, a sliver of hope and a nudge of confidence. Recognize that grin as a sign of the influence he had. Besides, others may benefit from what Smoky gave you – once.

When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.