The Hurdle & The Seesaw

"Straddle: a position in which somebody or something is astride or on both sides of something.
act of straddling: an act of putting one leg on each side of something."

I have one "leg" on the losing (lost) side and one on the need to lose (goal) side.

"Teeter-Totter: an up-and-down movement: an up-and-down, back-and-forth, or otherwise alternating movement. to move like seesaw: to move in an alternating fashion, especially back and forth or up and down. alternate: to change regularly and repeatedly from one thing to another, e.g. one state of mind to another."

I feel like I am straddling the hurdle. I have been working this weight loss game for so long. It has been 10½ months since I began an intense life change. June 21, 2008 I started the semi-liquid diet in order to prepare my body physically for the weight loss surgery (WLS) on July 21, 2008. I have had high hopes since deciding to change my lifestyle via WLS. It has been a hard yet easy battle. Hard in the sense that any type of change is a challenge; even a change you anticipate and look forward to. It has been easy in the sense that the WLS has enabled me to shed the pounds fairly easily, until recently. That is where the straddling comes in. I could even equate it to a teeter totter. For the two months or so I have been battling the same 2 pounds. I was stuck at 96 pounds. Well in the last 2 weeks I have actually lost those 2 pounds again and then another 1 pound. I haven't gotten too discouraged most of the time because I have seen progress in other areas--inches lost and clothes getting larger. But I so much want to be able to say I've lost 100 pounds and I want to be able to say that by my one year post-op date in July. Of course I started counting the loss from June 21st. So actually I only have one more week to do it in. I say that it ought to be easy, but the last weeks have shown that not to be true. I might lose that last pound, but the true test is to keep it off and not teeter back and forth.

I don't want to keep one "leg" on each side of the hurdle. I want to jump over it and clear it and continue to run the race and improve. I want to loose the pounds and the inches. Of course my perfectionist nature and my impatience means I want to do it NOW and at the SAME time. Intellectually I know that probably will not happen. Mentally and emotionally I think it is a requirement to succeed. So I have to change my perception of success. I need to narrow my expectations and raise my resolve. This means higher dedication to my working out. Yes, I am very dedicated now and I certainly don't want to go the other extreme and take exercise on as my new addiction. But I also want to reach my goal and not lose my momentum.

I have to watch my food intake. This entails not just how much I eat, how many calories I take in, what kind of calories I take in and what kind of food I eat. It also includes how often I eat. I have to be careful I don't graze which can lead to too many calories and too little liquid. Means I can't drink while I eat or an hour after I eat, I tend to take in too little water between the grazing. If I am grazing (eating all the time) I can't be drinking enough. And if I am drinking at the same time I am grazing it is a set up for me to graze all that much more, because I will never feel full. So I have to plan what I should eat for the day and stick with that quantity. I have to make that quantity quality foods; protein 1st, fruits and vegetables with little carbs and sweets; without feeling deprived. It is a balancing act that sometimes makes me feel like I am teetering and straddling.

This brings me to the next hurdle; sagging skin and flabby muscles. I am trying so hard to focus on the abdomen, the upper arms and thighs. I want to firm them up and stop the Jell-o jiggle. I have been presently surprised and satisfied with the neck and face. I feared I would nod my head and give myself a black eye from the double chin syndrome. But it has firmed up nicely. Now I wish the upper arms and thighs would do the same. I wish the abdomen wasn't so large. So I am focusing my exercises on these 3 areas. As I said, patience is NOT my forte. I want it yesterday! I have to remember I did not get in this shape over night and I will not get out of this shape today. I can only work today to accomplish tomorrow and hope I am one step closer to the goal in sight.

So I will stay on this playground of life and take the teeter totter motion in stride and straddle the hurdles until I can successfully jump over them and finish this race and maintain the win. Maybe I'll just play hop-scotch. Two feet down, then one foot in place and bend over, pick up the prize and continue on.

Great news: One of my recent prizes was being advised by my primary doctor this week to stop taking my blood pressure medicine. We cut it in half June 1st. I have monitored it twice a day and in the last 2 weeks it has been very low at times. He thinks the blood pressure medication may be to blame. So as of Thursday I no longer take high blood pressure medication!!!! This was one of my goals when I started this journey in February 2008!! I will monitor my blood pressure twice a day for awhile. I will keep attuned to if I feel any light headedness, dizziness, etc. I've been called dizzy before, but…..

I am ecstatic about getting off my medications. In 2008 before WLS I was taking 13 pills a day. I am now down to 3 pills a day (2 prescriptions) not including my multi-vitamin and calcium! I have one more prescription medication (2 pills) I'd like to get off of still. Time will tell. God has blessed!


A friendship can not blossom and grow without the water from spending time with each other.
~DeAnn Cornwell~