This week was my week to extend my water exercise time. I had planned to workout 45 minutes after my hour water aerobics class. After 25 minutes the spirit was willing, but the bladder was weak. I think there is a rule about no peeing in the pool. I don’t know if they have a meter or some warning system that announces someone has just violated that rule. It is kind of like when I was little and was in the bathtub. My sister, if we were taking a bath together would know when I passed gas by the bubbles in the water. At that age I couldn’t say I was just in a hot tub. So at the “Y” I got out and went to the bathroom and then to the shower. I guess my time in the pool will be dictated by the whims of the bladder.
I have been doing the strength training/cardio exercising for 3 weeks now. Three weeks ago I was able to withstand 5 minutes on the bike. This week I biked 20 minutes and went 2.5 miles. Three weeks ago I was able to huff my way through 3 minutes of the ARC trainer. This week I went 20 minutes and was breathing just a little labored. Three weeks ago I wasn’t even walking. I started out at a 1/3 of a mile. Three weeks later my goal was for a mile. I reached that goal this week and did it in 25 minutes. I have increased my weights some more on my strength training/muscle toning exercises. I think I will increase the sets now and leave the weight where it is. I don’t want to risk a hernia. I don’t want to push myself too hard and have a relapse by being too sore, but I also don’t want to get lax. It has always been a struggle for me to find a balance in anything. I will have to be careful and listen to my body.
As I was returning from the movies this week I drove by McDonald’s. I thought to myself, there was a time I would have had to struggle to drive past McDonald’s and not stop for a burger or some fries, even if I weren’t hungry. Or to drive by Sonic and not want cheese tater tots (Sonic size it). Or Burger King and have to get an order of onion rings. Of course you also have to have the cheese dipping sauce with those. I had no urge to stop. I then began to think about B.S. (before surgery). My thoughts were often times consumed with what I was going to eat next, when I was going to eat next, if I would take enough food to work, if I had extra cash so I could get something to eat. Now, I don’t think about it at all. Yeah, I think about what I am going to eat in terms of nourishing myself. I have to consciously think about it because if I went by the urge to eat I would probably go all day without eating. It is so liberating to know I don’t have to plan my daily activities around food.
This week I received an email from a very dear ‘ole friend of mine. We have known each other for 28 years. She has seen me through relatively normal weight to very heavy weight. She has not seen me at my biggest except in pictures. She said, “Hope you know you have always been special to me, no matter what size. Love sees beyond that. . . . “. It is funny she wrote that. When I was thinking about this surgery I thought about all the people who are so special to me and how I view them. I never notice weight, hair, etc. when I look at them. I never think about their size. I just love them. So I wondered why it was so important to me that I worried about how they thought of me when they looked at me. I really appreciate this friend making that statement to reassure me I am accepted for me. Why are we so much harder on ourselves?
Today (Thursday) I was on the ARC trainer and had gone 10 minutes and had 10 more to go. I had already biked for 20 minutes. I still had the treadmill and weights and floor exercises to do. I thought; I really don’t want to complete these last 10 minutes on the ARC. I was plugged into the entertainment center of the ARC and was listening to/watching CBS Early Morning show. At that very moment a segment came on about a gastric bypass surgery celebration reunion at a hospital in some other state. I decided I would watch it; therefore I had to continue on the ARC. You see the listening device only works as your machine is in motion. Well, by the time the segment was over I was so inspired to continue on, I easily completed my 20 minute workout on the ARC. Other surgery successes are inspiring! I have to remember to “use” my fellow survivors.
This week I have had to fight the “head hunger”. I am not physically hungry, but when I get stressed or bored my head tells me to eat. This has been the 1st time I have really had to be very conscious of the “want” to eat. So far I have done fairly well. When I have given in I have had cheese strips or ostrich jerky. I have tried to stay away from the whole grain crackers and the sugar free candy. Although both are good, they still have calories and carbs. I try to eat something that has the protein in it too. I ate a boiled egg one day and that was a nice change for a “salty” taste with protein. I will overcome!!! Because of this struggle I feel my loss this week was compromised. I only lost a little over a pound. Next week I will have to work harder.
I made my crustless pizza again for one meal. This time I made a taco pizza. I used ground turkey for the crust. I put refried beans, salsa, green onions and cheese as the topping to be baked. Then I put salad, tomatoes, cucumbers and salsa on top. It was very good!! I didn’t have any black olives to top it with, but that would have been good too.
In church this week I looked down and without leaning over I was actually able to see the ends of my shoes. Guess one of the items on my list is close to being accomplished.
I also decided to try eating my cheeseburger on a bun. This is the 1st time I have had bread. I just ate the bottom bun. I was at Bible study and told the girls it was the 1st time with bread. I have a gal in the group that had the LapBand earlier this year. She knew what my apprehension was. She has problems with buns. She asked if I wanted her to bring a bucket or did I just want to dash to the bathroom. I told her I would chance and dash if I needed to. It is fun, but scary to try new foods. I did just great! I have not found any food I have had problems with. I know some people do. I'm thankful for the blessing of being able to tolerate everything. I have found some things I used to like and crave I have very little taste for or interest in now. Sweet things are one of them. I am especially thankful for that!!
Well, this next week will be a week I am challenging myself to step up my exercising and step down my eating. I am going to try to be more mindful of calories. I only lost a pound this week and that worries me in a small way. I think by being very conscious of the foods I eat, the portion sizes and when I eat I will make better progress. I still have no hunger urges to speak of. I know one day I ate at 12:30pm and then not again until 9pm (I worked until 2:30am) and I was just beginning to think I might need to eat. I didn't really have hunger urges as I remember them B.S., but just a feeling that I should probably eat. It's hard to decide when to eat because of no hunger. Then there is always how much, what, etc. This new lifestyle is a venture that is never ending and I am loving every minute of it! I'm not saying it is always easy, but it sure feels healthier, lighter, more productive and more vibrant; most days.
I hope your life is as full and blessed as mine right now.
My mind is like a steel
whatchamacallit.
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