Under The Big Top

Life is a circus. There is so much to see and often all at the same time. As a kid I found the circus in a tent. There was a variety of acts and sights. There was something to enthrall and interest every age and gender.

There was the ring master. His duty was to hold the circus together, make it run smoothly and make sure you were focused on what was being done between the acts. He kept your attention on “center ring” so everyone else could get where they needed to be in order to do what needed to be done. He was a grand man. He dressed in fashions to be envied; a big top hat, a long tailed coat and carrying a scepter. He was the leader of the circus, the master of the ceremony. He is often the most visible and most important performer of the circus. He took pride in introducing the flow of the circus and assuring the adults it was okay to let the little child within escape and enjoy the thrills to follow.

There were the clowns. They were there for the laughs. They were there to relive some of the suspense of the other acts. They were kind of like the intermission that made you laugh and feel warm and bubbly all over. They painted their faces and wore goofy clothes, big shoes and had a large nose. They didn’t just appeal to the young, but to the young at heart. They solidified the crowd.

You had your hoopers and your jugglers. The hoopers would get that big ole’ ring around their waists, arms, necks, shoulders, legs or whatever part of their bodies and keep it spinning and keep it from touching the ground. Many times it was more than one hoop. The plate spinners were along the same line as the hoopers. The thrill was in the anticipation it would fall, but hoping it would stay afloat. Then there were the jugglers. How can one person keep so many balls, swords, rings, clubs, beanbags, bouncing balls, etc in the air and not get all tangled up in the movements. It wasn’t a matter of tossing them up, but to toss them around, over, under, beside or anyway they could. The skill was admirable and kept one in awe.

There were the acrobats. They ran and tumbled from one end to the other. The moves they inserted in their graceful movements made you wonder how it could be done. The balance, agility, flexibility and coordination were unreal. The concession vendors’ pretzels couldn’t compare to the positions these skilled actors performed. They were supreme dancers. The flow of their movements and their speed were intriguing.

Speaking of pretzels, the food at a circus was unique. It was the one time we could eat cotton candy, popcorn, hot dogs and sip a soda and not feel guilty. It was all part of the experience.

Then you had your “death defying acts”. The trapeze performers kept the tension as high as their bars could swing. The thrills were often verbally heard; ooh’s and ah’s and wow’s. They would let go, fly through the air and latch onto the next bar. Sometimes it was from one bar to another and other times it was from one person to another person. Your heart would stop between the letting go and the grasping again. The strength in the hands and arms and legs were more than one could imagine. The tight rope walkers were in this category of anticipation graspers. Sometimes they used a pole to balance or an umbrella or they just used themselves as the balancing factor. They might have a net, but then they might not. The wire might be tight or it might be slack. Regardless, both looked impossible. Once again the anticipation and thrill would have you holding your breath.

One of my favorites was the unicyclists. They would motor around and turn and swing and move backwards and forwards. Of course this probably had something to do with someday my wanting to ride a unicycle. I got one for Christmas when I was in 6th grade. I couldn’t wait to ride it. Little did I know it wasn’t a matter of sitting on the seat and taking off. It took hours of practice, many falls and many failures. Dedication and some bull headedness made it possible to one day ride it down the road, across the playground and around the basketball court, while playing basketball. I could never do the amazing tricks these performers were able to do, but my dedication to practice was on a much smaller scale.

The animals were just as much a part of the circus. There were lion tamers, elephant handlers and dog trainers. They were able to make fierce lions and tigers lay and roll, standup and take notice. The elephants were so large and heavy yet the handlers were able to make them kneel with the tap of a stick. The dog trainers had the dogs running and jumping through hoops and climbing stairs and sailing from one stand to another. It must be from the circus the Alpo people got their idea for their dog food commercials.

You ask what this has to do with my journey in weight loss and my lifestyle as a gastric bypass surgery patient? Well, much like the circus, life is full of variety. It is full of thrills and anticipations. It is full of tension, oh’s and ah’s. You must juggle the wants and the needs of this lifestyle. A gastric bypass patient is no different than the everyday person. We must look at food as a nutrient. As we get caught up in the thrills of everyday life we must be mindful of the temptations around us. We have to make decisions and perform moves that are split second “death defying” decisions. It is the death of our progress or the life of our progress. We have to be the plate spinner, the hooper and the juggler and keep the choices afloat and life in the air. At times it feels like we are on a trapeze reaching for the next bar, the next hand, the next leg. It can take our breath away.

We must be the animal handlers. We must tame the demons, the bad habits and old behaviors. We must train our wants and needs. We must direct our actions. We must take control of our emotions and work with them to our benefit not our demise. The lion is dangerous, the elephant is large and heavy and the dogs are willful. We must work with them daily in order to get them to do what we need for them to do. They must perform to enhance the show. Our emotions can grow fierce and we must keep them in line and not eat because of them. Our actions, desires and will power must work together to perform in a healthy manner.

We must be the ring master. We have to keep all the acts moving and the current act must be the main focus. Sometimes we have to “hype” up the process and make it more thrilling than it really is. We also have to accept when there is a glitch and go with the flow and make it as flawless as possible. We have to improvise and fill in the dead time in order to make the circus look smooth. We have to keep intrigued and focused.

The best times are when we get to be the clowns. We may have a sad face, but we must keep the journey uplifting. We must look out and see what needs to be done and do what it takes to be successful. We have to laugh at ourselves and encourage others to laugh with us. We must keep our eyes focused beyond the big red nose. Sometimes our pants are too big, our shoes too floppy and our hair is a mess. We learn to deal with those times.

There will be different people coming in and out of our lives at different times. We must learn to use them as a support and at times be a support to them. The best support we can rely on is the love and peace of God. He is the real ringmaster. We can take grand lessons from him as we allow him to stand in the center ring and direct us and keep us focused at the task at hand. When we take our eyes off him and begin to watch the other areas of the big tent we see the tearing down of one act and the preparing of the next act. By keeping our eye on the ringmaster we live life as it happens. We get to be “in on” the thrills, the anticipations, the laughs and the tears. We get to walk the tightrope. If we fall, He will be the net below. We can fall off the unicycle and get back up and try again. It is never the end, but always the next step on the path. Whatever our goal, He is there to direct us to it.




There is never a dead end.
There is always a way out.
Sometimes you have to back up
or make a sharp turn and redirect.
~DeAnn Cornwell~