Be Good To Yourself

This week I have nothing deep to talk about. Last week was kind of a comparison to a fun event in my life. This week I began re-reading my blog from the onset. I started reading some stuff that I wrote about 6 months before surgery. Some of it was 2-3 months before I even decided to have the surgery. It was inspiring to see how far I have come in my thinking. I also was able to get some inspiration for eating better. I got some ideas of things to eat that go back to the basics. I think as a gastric bypass patient we tend to forget the basics. I guess that is the way it is for anyone actually. We all know what is good for us to eat, what is good for us to do and we still struggle with eating the right stuff and doing the right things. Re-reading my blogs has reminded me how far I have strayed over the last few months. Yet, at the same time it has spurred a desire to get back to square one and work hard. Sometimes self motivation is really hard.

I still have about 2/3 of the blog yet to read and I intend to do it this week. I want to “relive” the progress including the back stepping. I think I can learn some lessons from looking honestly at myself, my actions and my motivations. I need to reassess and recharge and I think this will help me to do that. Overall I am in a better place than I have been in some time. It feels good.

I wrote the following to a friend of mine and I need to remember this for myself. I am such a feeling person and I feel deeply. I have known that for many years. I also have known for many years, feelings are not the basis of anything real. I analyze everything until it is mush. I beat myself up until I can flog no longer. That is the feeling me that kicks in so strongly. That is the perfectionist in me. None of this is new to me, but all of it is something I routinely forget or to be more honest, ignore. So I am struggling in many areas of my life right now. I know God allows those struggles in order to mature me. But there again, that doesn’t make it any less painful or any easier to accept. So at this point, time is the answer. Time to feel, ponder, dig in and grab God and time to give up of myself. Not an easy thing to do. I have to be content in the knowledge that God is there and not rely on the feeling that God is there. I have to depend on him to lead me through the hard times, decision making and every step of this journey.

So bear with me as I struggle through this. I knew having this surgery was not going to lead to a life paved in gold. I knew it would not be a cure all. I knew it would be a daily decision to live differently than I had ever lived. I can confidently say I am not sorry for having this surgery and having to live differently and having to make wise decisions daily instead of just gliding through life. This surgery is the best thing I’ve ever done for me. I know God is behind everything I have done and he will be there beside me through everything I need to do to remain healthy and on track. I just have to get out of the way. There lies the problem.

I hope everyone’s Thanksgiving was healthy. I pray you were able to find and name the blessings of the last year. As we prepare for the Christmas season I pray you will continue to remember you are worth the effort to do what you need to do to take care of you. It is easy to put yourself on the back burner and that leads to the unhealthy things we do. Remember, you are no good to anyone else if you are too tired, too frustrated and too unfocused to take care of yourself. As we walk, we some times stumble, but as the child knows, you must get back up and try again. It is never too late to start fresh. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do to take care of youself now!

Until next time---be good to yourself.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing:
the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”
~Viktor Frankl~