Procrastination: to postpone doing something, especially as a regular practice.
What an interesting thought, procrastination can kill. I was thinking about a few areas in my life and how procrastination has slowed or killed something.
Procrastination can kill dreams. How many times have you dreamed of something you wanted (a career, an item, an event, a person) and because you procrastinated the opportunity passed you by? If you have a dream of any sort and you do not actively pursue it, it can just slip away. The dream may die or the opportunity to fulfill that dream may pass you by. Maybe a career you always wanted may never be obtained because you procrastinate about making changes, seeking education, acknowledging a door that is an opening to that career. Maybe you are fearful of failing so you procrastinate until the opportunity is pass and the fear is then alleviated by the process of elimination and missed opportunities.
How many relationships have you lost or never established because of procrastination? It takes "effort" to keep a relationship healthy. If you procrastinate about keeping in touch, getting together or just letting someone know you are thinking about them, the relationship may die and that is a loss . Sometimes we procrastinate because of the place we are in life and don't reach outside of ourselves. This can be because of sadness, hard times, fear of rejection, loneliness, self pity, busyness, and so many other reasons. If you reach out, most of those circumstances/feelings will be taken care of. To lose a relationship because of procrastination or neglect is such a sad thought. I've had it happen to me a couple of times.
While I am talking about lost relationships I think of my relationship with myself. Because I have procrastinated about caring enough about myself and putting myself on the back burner I have lost myself in some ways. I have a tendency to place others before me. I think this is what we are supposed to do, but we are also supposed to take care of ourselves. Several years ago I procrastinated about taking time for me and devoting too much time to my job. In that vein I lost my health. I have decided to do something someone else wanted done when I really needed time for me. Have you ever canceled your plans in order to fulfill the plans of another? I think we all have. This is a form of procrastinating about taking care of you. Sometimes you have to take care of you before you can give to anyone else.
Now I hit the real nature of my procrastination. We all know I had gastric bypass surgery July 21, 2008. I followed the rules to the letter. I ate all the right stuff, in the right portion sizes and exercised like I was supposed to. I was dedicated for about a year. Then for some reason I began to experiment with foods (crackers, cakes, carbs, sugars, etc). I found my tolerance for these foods was very high. The more I knew I could eat them and not get sick the more I ate them. Many times as a priority of choice over the protein and low carb foods. Then there came a time when I realized I was doing the wrong things, eating the wrong foods and eating too much. By then I was in over my head and couldn't see a way out. I would tell myself I will get back where I should be next week, after this holiday or that holiday, once I get past this event, etc. etc. etc. I finally decided I was only "fooling" myself and trying to fool others. I had friends that knew I was frustrated, but had no real idea of how far I was in over my head. I procrastinated about being honest with them and myself for fear of rejection, fear of being seen as a failure, seen as being just like I was before surgery. By procrastinating about being honest with myself I fell deeper and deeper in that emotional feeling denial pit. It became easier to nourish that "stuffing my feelings routine" with the routine of eating food. Instead I should have nourished it with dealing with the feelings, asking God to lead me and asking my friends for help. I finally decided to get back on track. I reached out to Ronda at IWLS. Even after talking to her and seeing a way out I procrastinated. Circumstances kept us from getting started as soon as we wanted with the Back On Track program she teaches. In the mean time I could have started making changes before we started the classes, but because I procrastinated I didn't. I continued to sink slowly lower and lower into despair. I became more frustrated with myself, my situation, my dishonesty with myself and my tainted honesty with my friends. I think my family saw some of it but they didn't know the depth of my despair. It was just a couple of weeks ago in my blog I talked of the fear of failing. I feel like I have overcome that fear by working with Back On Track. I am a success in many ways. I exercise regularly. It is that exercising that has kept me afloat. If I hadn't had that established and active I would have gained weight. Instead, exercise maintained me and I just teetered between 6 pounds for the last 5 months.
Ronda and I started Back on Track March 5th. This week was the week to get my eating back on track. I read my material on Tuesday and was instantly frustrated and angry. I was angry with myself for allowing myself to get so far down, for allowing myself to deceive myself, for not being honest with myself or anyone else. I was frustrated because I had to begin doing something I hate--keeping a food log with calories, fat, carbs and protein. There are so many foods I want to eat I can't eat for now. There are foods I have been eating and enjoying that I will never eat again. This is a time where procrastination can NOT be an option. I must plan and do in order to become healthy again.
See, procrastination only delays progress and maintenance. Whether it is progress or maintenance in a career, dream, relationship or health, it is hindered by not facing the truth, doing what needs to be done in order to reap the benefits. The benefits of a career you love, a dream you've worked for or a relationship you've formed. Procrastination can kill. If it doesn't kill it sure slows things down.
Determination gets you started and keeps you going for a while,
but it is never enough to bring you across the finish line.
~Joyce Meyer~
Only God can do that.
No comments:
Post a Comment