Sunday, July 5, 2009

Command Central

Your mind can reach into the past through memories, and into the future through imagination.

As I approach my year from surgery I look closer at my goals and accomplishments. As things slow down within the realm of losing weight I find the frustrations of not losing weight increasing. So I have to look at my accomplishments and where I realistically can go from here. I have to admit I haven’t looked at it as seriously as I should. I’m eating wrong; I’m justifying and slacking off when I should be getting more diligent. I need to reach into my memories and see where I was a year ago and pat myself on the back, but I’m finding my arm just a little short these days. I need to look to the future with some imagination and come up with new incentives, more dedication and new ways to implement my wants and wishes and goals. I am just finding it hard to focus that imagination. Maybe it’s the end of “the honeymoon syndrome” syndrome. If anyone has any suggestions or challenges I would appreciate anything you can give me to jump start my resolve. At this point I just feel a little stale and stagnate. I feel like I’ve lost my freshness and I’ve become at a stand still. I feel like I have failed to continue to develop, progress, or make necessary changes. It feels like the changes have stopped flowing or moving. I know we all come to a plateau regardless of the event of the journey, but it can be so frustrating! I’m afraid the detour may become the road.

I guess my command central needs a boost. My command central to me is my mind, my thoughts and my perceptions. They encompass my goals and my plans and steps to reach those goals. I almost feel like the steps have planted themselves in cement. I guess I should consider this part of the journey and we all go there, but even that thought doesn’t make it any easier. I see my progress back pedaling faster than my legs can switch directions. I’m not on a pity pot; I am just stumped about what to do from here; where to turn, what to change, what to continue to do, what to expect so not to set myself up for failure within my perceptions, expectations and results.

I know I try to be an encourager, but my encouragement to myself is running low on fuel. I hope this week’s random thoughts will help you to see you are not alone and remind me I am not alone. Everyone feels this way at some time. I just wish it wasn’t me at this time. I wish I could see the plan before me so I can figure out what to do, how to do it and how to implement it for life. I know this frustration will pass as I become stronger in my actions, more diligent in my dedication and less eager to discredit where I’ve come.

Old habits die hard and new habits easily slip when doubt arises. It’s always easier to go to your trusted comfort zone. I think that is where I am right now. It is a matter of relying heavier on the new habits and denounce the old habits for what they are—bad habits. I need more reliance on God and less reliance on my own abilities. He is what got me to the level I am now. It is time to kick it back into practice. Lip service is always easy and practice is always challenging. So I will pray God will boost my resolve, lead my actions and show me the true picture of my progress and less doubting of my accomplishments.

I need to reach into my past through memories and into my future with imagination. I need to have God led perspective within those memories and God inspired imagination for the future of this journey I continue walking on a daily basis. I can’t walk any other way and be successful. My command central can be a tricky place. God help me keep it in check. Help me to remember who is in charge and where you can get me if I allow you.

By perseverance the snail reached the ark.
~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon~

1 comment:

Barbara's blog said...

You're on the right track. Keep in mind you don't have to work so hard at it. Instead let God give you His rest as you go through each day. And take just one day at a time. You've come a long way and you aren't giving up.