Remind me why I had surgery. As I am facing some tough heath issues again I have to look back and find the blessings. I hope it will get me through the frustrations I am experiencing right now. I have had to give up some of the things I enjoy the most in my daily workouts. I had surgery over 2 years ago because of serious health issues. I found myself on a road to death. The reality hit when I was able to look in the mirror and see a morbidly obese person looking back at me. I didn’t even recognize myself. There are times these days I look in the mirror and don’t recognize the person looking back at me. I have come a long way in 2 years. When I get frustrated I have to remember why I had surgery and where I’ve walked and at times ran. I have to remember before surgery I couldn’t even exercise. I have been doing some very limited running in the last month or so and that is probably what has gotten me into the shape I am in. So I have to give up the running, the rowing (which I love) and some of the other things I enjoy, like aqua Zumba. I hope it is just for a limited time, but at this point there is no speculation. I just have to be wise in my thinking and doing. I want to push myself harder than is advisable. I’ve always been a person who had to give 100+% and now I have to back off. It isn’t going to be easy and I know it is going to frustrate me. I need to set some new goals with lower expectations. That won’t be easy either, but if I am going to get healthy again and get past the pain, I will have to do it. Before surgery I existed but wasn’t active in life. Since surgery I have becomes very active and now I have to slow that down. God always knows what is best and I guess at this point He feels it is best to slow down some. So as I face these health issues with uncertainty and times without answers, I will do the best I can to remember why I had surgery! To be healthy and active!
It is what it is, but it will become what you make it.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
It's About The Journey
A good friend wrote in her blog lately that it isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey. I have not written on my blog/update for a month. I haven’t felt inspired. I have been looking at the destination and forgotten about the journey. I felt like if I couldn’t give a rose I wouldn’t write. I have decided the prettiest bouquets are mixed flowers. There are bright brilliant colors, subtle colors, greenery, baby’s breath and even thorns.
My life lately has certainly been a full bouquet. I have had some challenges in my work life, personal relationship life, my spiritual life, my heath and my weight loss life.
My weight has teetered with the same 10 pounds for months. It has been frustrating. It has felt much like before surgery days. I would lose some, gain some, lose some…. Luckily I have not gone past what I was willing to go to. But I also am not willing to stay where I am now. It is so easy to say ”I am going to…” It is hard to walk the walk. I am struggling with the thorns right now. It feels like there are thorns on every horizon.
I think work is leveling off some. This will be a day to day assessment. I am the only one that can influence it and stay above the water level of drowning. Of course those involved play a part, but not the starring role. I am the star and I have to play the part I want. The other people can either be the supporting cast, the villain or the audience. I can name each person in their role. For now, I will take it day by day. I will show up and perform my best.
My personal life is a little trickier. I have to decide what is best for me and go with the decisions I make. This is not always easy because the familiar is so comfortable, even in the midst of the pain and disappointments of life. As the saying goes,”Life must go on. Learn to live with it.” Take the next step and grow from there.
My spiritual life is one of my most frustrating struggles. I want to have a close personal relationship with God, but I am my own worst enemy. I want it now and I want it on my terms. That isn’t always the way it happens. Think about the many different stories in the Bible and how God dealt with people. Many times it took longer than they wanted. Reading the stories makes me think it took longer than I would have wanted. The Israelite wandered for 40 years. This was by their own doing; by not obeying God. I am in the same boat. I often ask for something then turn around and attempt to do things my way because God isn’t quick enough for me. So I have to take a few steps back and I often feel I am losing ground. I have to remember He is always there, always knows best, but also allows me the free will to choose. There lies my stumbling block—my will.
My health, well, it will go at its own pace. The medical world isn’t always on the same time frame as I am. Doctors don’t always do what I want when I want. It is a hurry up and wait situation. It is very frustrating. So for now I have to sit back, be the annoying bee in their bonnet and try to get them to move faster. In the same vein, I can’t just sit back and let the world pass me by. I have to stay focused and continue to work out and live each day to its fullest.
As The Imperials’ song says, “When the water gets high, sail on. When the wind starts to die, sail on. It’s just a matter of minutes ‘til His ship comes to get us and we’ll all get in it. …Just keep your compass set on the SON… We’ve got the Lord in control of our ship and he’ll guide us safely in.”
So in light of all these ramblings, I have come to the conclusion that everything happens for a reason. I may not understand the reasons or the timing or the outcome, but I have to have faith in myself and faith in God. My god is an awesome god. He is the only true God. His name is always in a capital letter. All other gods are in lower case. So I have to put all the challenges of the day in his hands. This is easier to write and think and say but hard to do. So for today, I pray for His guidance, His wisdom and His love to help me make the decisions I need to make in my weight loss, eating habits, determination and patience of life after weight loss surgery.
I have to look to Him to guide me at work and how I relate and deal with each person and situation. I have to look to Him in making decisions in my personal life and dealing with people I come in contact with. I pray He will give me the courage and spirit to make wise decisions. In doing this, my spiritual life will fall into place. Sometimes I think he strips all things (options) away in order to lead us back to Him.
Not every day is going to be a total success, but as long as I am working towards the goal, I am a success. It isn’t about the destination. It’s about the journey. The destination will take care of itself if you have your eyes on the right leader.
"Don't blow the chance when you have the chance to say I love you."
~Oliveia Newton-John~
But don't say it unless you honestly mean it sincerely.
My life lately has certainly been a full bouquet. I have had some challenges in my work life, personal relationship life, my spiritual life, my heath and my weight loss life.
My weight has teetered with the same 10 pounds for months. It has been frustrating. It has felt much like before surgery days. I would lose some, gain some, lose some…. Luckily I have not gone past what I was willing to go to. But I also am not willing to stay where I am now. It is so easy to say ”I am going to…” It is hard to walk the walk. I am struggling with the thorns right now. It feels like there are thorns on every horizon.
I think work is leveling off some. This will be a day to day assessment. I am the only one that can influence it and stay above the water level of drowning. Of course those involved play a part, but not the starring role. I am the star and I have to play the part I want. The other people can either be the supporting cast, the villain or the audience. I can name each person in their role. For now, I will take it day by day. I will show up and perform my best.
My personal life is a little trickier. I have to decide what is best for me and go with the decisions I make. This is not always easy because the familiar is so comfortable, even in the midst of the pain and disappointments of life. As the saying goes,”Life must go on. Learn to live with it.” Take the next step and grow from there.
My spiritual life is one of my most frustrating struggles. I want to have a close personal relationship with God, but I am my own worst enemy. I want it now and I want it on my terms. That isn’t always the way it happens. Think about the many different stories in the Bible and how God dealt with people. Many times it took longer than they wanted. Reading the stories makes me think it took longer than I would have wanted. The Israelite wandered for 40 years. This was by their own doing; by not obeying God. I am in the same boat. I often ask for something then turn around and attempt to do things my way because God isn’t quick enough for me. So I have to take a few steps back and I often feel I am losing ground. I have to remember He is always there, always knows best, but also allows me the free will to choose. There lies my stumbling block—my will.
My health, well, it will go at its own pace. The medical world isn’t always on the same time frame as I am. Doctors don’t always do what I want when I want. It is a hurry up and wait situation. It is very frustrating. So for now I have to sit back, be the annoying bee in their bonnet and try to get them to move faster. In the same vein, I can’t just sit back and let the world pass me by. I have to stay focused and continue to work out and live each day to its fullest.
As The Imperials’ song says, “When the water gets high, sail on. When the wind starts to die, sail on. It’s just a matter of minutes ‘til His ship comes to get us and we’ll all get in it. …Just keep your compass set on the SON… We’ve got the Lord in control of our ship and he’ll guide us safely in.”
So in light of all these ramblings, I have come to the conclusion that everything happens for a reason. I may not understand the reasons or the timing or the outcome, but I have to have faith in myself and faith in God. My god is an awesome god. He is the only true God. His name is always in a capital letter. All other gods are in lower case. So I have to put all the challenges of the day in his hands. This is easier to write and think and say but hard to do. So for today, I pray for His guidance, His wisdom and His love to help me make the decisions I need to make in my weight loss, eating habits, determination and patience of life after weight loss surgery.
I have to look to Him to guide me at work and how I relate and deal with each person and situation. I have to look to Him in making decisions in my personal life and dealing with people I come in contact with. I pray He will give me the courage and spirit to make wise decisions. In doing this, my spiritual life will fall into place. Sometimes I think he strips all things (options) away in order to lead us back to Him.
Not every day is going to be a total success, but as long as I am working towards the goal, I am a success. It isn’t about the destination. It’s about the journey. The destination will take care of itself if you have your eyes on the right leader.
"Don't blow the chance when you have the chance to say I love you."
~Oliveia Newton-John~
But don't say it unless you honestly mean it sincerely.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Pondering
"Pondering"
What is joy? Is it a hearty belly laugh? Is it jumping up and down as the saying goes, jumping for joy? It is walking around with a smile on your face? How long will it last and what will prompt it? How tight do you have to hold on to it to make sure it never leaves? Is it a state of mind or a feeling within? Is it an outward appearance or an inner sense?
What is happiness? The saying is you have to find happiness within yourself and not with outside things. How do you find happiness when you don't know what it is or what it looks like? Will you recognize it when it slaps you in the face? Will it drift in the window like a spring breeze? Or will it flash like a 4th of July spectacular? Will it creep in like a thief in the night; not knowing it was there until it is gone?
How do you measure success? Is it by the dollar amount in your bank account? Is it a level on the ladder? Is it a job you enjoy immensely? Is it a large house, cars of your dreams, 3.2 children, a spouse you want to spend the rest of your life with or maybe the respect you garner from those around you?
What is contentment? Is it a calm feeling within your soul? Is it a serene sense around you? Is it laying back and relaxing without a worry? Is it doing what you want to do? Is it a fulfillment that is impossible to define? Is it a peace that descends on you when you least expect it? Is it something you can work for, but fail to fully grasp? Is it "walking on cloud nine" and just where is that located? Is it linked to happiness and can only be obtained when you obtain happiness and joy?
Are all of them linked together? Do you have to have all of them to know one of them? Does one lead to the other? Do they lend themselves to each other?
So many questions with very few answers.
Life! Now that is the ultimate question. Is it more than a breath? Is it activity? Energy? Growth? Being? A career ? "Just the way it is"? Participation? Or a period of existence?
I guess all of the above are a facet of each other. Maybe to access each to build on the other is the routine of daily living. If we are able to attain one, each or all of them, will life be complete?
I am going to cheat and post something I wrote 3 years ago. I think, without meaning to be egotistical, that it is timeless. I think regardless of the time of history it applies to life. Regardless of the century, personal age or current events, it is something every person thinks about. At this time in my life I am in the best spot I have been in for a LONG time. I have always been an extremist. I am either extremely happy or pathetically down. I have always had a hard time with the middle ground or the even keel. I even have a hard time with idleness. I am working on that though. In the last couple of months I have learned not to be “obsessive” about the”what if’s” and the “how about’s”. I’ve learned to let go of that which I have no control. I’m not totally there, but many things that used to upset me and bring me to a screeching halt now have little effect on me. I think that is growth. Anyway, I think I am more comfortable in my own skin and don’t need someone else to make me feel that way.
Now back to why I chose to dig up this relic writing. I once again began pondering all these things. I don’t know that I have any more answers than I did before, but I am certainly more comfortable with not having the answers. I know life will not be complete just because I think I have attained one, several or all of these. I think there is no way to fully attain any of them. I think they come in waves throughout life. They ebb and flow like an ocean. The ocean does not cease to exist just because it is at low tide. It isn’t any more evident because it is at high tide. It just is. Much like life—it just is. Each day is another chance to master the plan. The ending is written in the stars and only God knows when that will be. So for today, I must live it with the challenges, the mundane and the excitements that flow into my life. So what is joy? What is success? What is contentment? All wrapped together the simple answer is, they are life. Life must be lived by the moment. It must be lived for the end—eternity. That is where all of these will merge together and be fulfilled. Until then, I choose to live each day with the blessings and trials that come with it. I will keep pondering them all, because that is what keeps me striving to be better. The difference now than in the past? Now I can accept the uncertainty and anticipate the results as they come, instead of worry about if they will come.
Peace to each of you. I hope you will find time to ponder too.
When everything is coming your way,
You just might be in the wrong lane.....
What is joy? Is it a hearty belly laugh? Is it jumping up and down as the saying goes, jumping for joy? It is walking around with a smile on your face? How long will it last and what will prompt it? How tight do you have to hold on to it to make sure it never leaves? Is it a state of mind or a feeling within? Is it an outward appearance or an inner sense?
What is happiness? The saying is you have to find happiness within yourself and not with outside things. How do you find happiness when you don't know what it is or what it looks like? Will you recognize it when it slaps you in the face? Will it drift in the window like a spring breeze? Or will it flash like a 4th of July spectacular? Will it creep in like a thief in the night; not knowing it was there until it is gone?
How do you measure success? Is it by the dollar amount in your bank account? Is it a level on the ladder? Is it a job you enjoy immensely? Is it a large house, cars of your dreams, 3.2 children, a spouse you want to spend the rest of your life with or maybe the respect you garner from those around you?
What is contentment? Is it a calm feeling within your soul? Is it a serene sense around you? Is it laying back and relaxing without a worry? Is it doing what you want to do? Is it a fulfillment that is impossible to define? Is it a peace that descends on you when you least expect it? Is it something you can work for, but fail to fully grasp? Is it "walking on cloud nine" and just where is that located? Is it linked to happiness and can only be obtained when you obtain happiness and joy?
Are all of them linked together? Do you have to have all of them to know one of them? Does one lead to the other? Do they lend themselves to each other?
So many questions with very few answers.
Life! Now that is the ultimate question. Is it more than a breath? Is it activity? Energy? Growth? Being? A career ? "Just the way it is"? Participation? Or a period of existence?
I guess all of the above are a facet of each other. Maybe to access each to build on the other is the routine of daily living. If we are able to attain one, each or all of them, will life be complete?
I am going to cheat and post something I wrote 3 years ago. I think, without meaning to be egotistical, that it is timeless. I think regardless of the time of history it applies to life. Regardless of the century, personal age or current events, it is something every person thinks about. At this time in my life I am in the best spot I have been in for a LONG time. I have always been an extremist. I am either extremely happy or pathetically down. I have always had a hard time with the middle ground or the even keel. I even have a hard time with idleness. I am working on that though. In the last couple of months I have learned not to be “obsessive” about the”what if’s” and the “how about’s”. I’ve learned to let go of that which I have no control. I’m not totally there, but many things that used to upset me and bring me to a screeching halt now have little effect on me. I think that is growth. Anyway, I think I am more comfortable in my own skin and don’t need someone else to make me feel that way.
Now back to why I chose to dig up this relic writing. I once again began pondering all these things. I don’t know that I have any more answers than I did before, but I am certainly more comfortable with not having the answers. I know life will not be complete just because I think I have attained one, several or all of these. I think there is no way to fully attain any of them. I think they come in waves throughout life. They ebb and flow like an ocean. The ocean does not cease to exist just because it is at low tide. It isn’t any more evident because it is at high tide. It just is. Much like life—it just is. Each day is another chance to master the plan. The ending is written in the stars and only God knows when that will be. So for today, I must live it with the challenges, the mundane and the excitements that flow into my life. So what is joy? What is success? What is contentment? All wrapped together the simple answer is, they are life. Life must be lived by the moment. It must be lived for the end—eternity. That is where all of these will merge together and be fulfilled. Until then, I choose to live each day with the blessings and trials that come with it. I will keep pondering them all, because that is what keeps me striving to be better. The difference now than in the past? Now I can accept the uncertainty and anticipate the results as they come, instead of worry about if they will come.
Peace to each of you. I hope you will find time to ponder too.
When everything is coming your way,
You just might be in the wrong lane.....
Monday, September 27, 2010
Shaking My Bootie
The words of the day are: Aqua Zumba! I love it!!!!! As much as I enjoy my water aerobics class, I would give it up for another 2 classes of Aqua Zumba. Aqua Zumba is only offered Monday night (I can attend it!) and Tuesday & Thursday morning (I am working). It isn’t as cardio as my gym side activities, but it provides a different “high”. The adrenalin rush is awesome! Both gym side and water side get me pumped. Who would have thought physical activity (AKA exercise) would be such an important part of my life. Without my surgery none of it would have been possible and without the exercise my surgery wouldn’t be such a success! Today between my gym time, my water aerobics class and aqua Zumba I burnt 1,207 Calories. I know this because for my birthday I got a heart rate monitor (HRM). I have been wearing it during my workouts and I am amazed at how many calories I actually burn during my workouts. It is encouraging and spurs me on to work harder. I look down at the HRM and see where my heart rate is and sometimes it causes me to push myself a little more. Here is an excerpt from something I wrote this week. It will give you a glimpse into what exercise does for me.
Push it, harder, keep going, push a little more. 62, 78, 93, 112, 143, 156, 175. Easy, slow down, ease up. 160, 152, 136, 122, 118. Steady, easy, level out. Now the sweat is pouring out. It feels great to push it to the limit; to do the bike and work the cardio. The drenched shirt, the soaked hair; the droplets off the nose. The trickle rolls past the forehead onto the glasses lens, over the cheeks and down the chin. Wetness in all the cracks and crevices. The signs of a great workout.
I hope this will get some of you moving. I know there are some of you that wish to feel better and moving will provide that. I know you may not do 2 hours and 15 minutes of workout like I did today or my usual one hour and 30 minutes to one hour and 45 minutes a day. I know when you start, 5 minutes may be all you can do, but keep at it! When I started 5 minutes on the bike and 5 minutes on the ARC trainer was exhausting. Then I began adding the weight training/strength training and 15 minutes was my max. It was a slow process and each week I went longer and harder. Progress is all you need to focus on. Do what you can and increase with time! As I get bored or sluggish I add something else. I have added the row machine, the treadmill, a different floor circuit and different weight machines. I have added aqua Zumba and Pilates sometimes. Just make it fun. Explore until you find things you enjoy. It doesn’t hurt to try something at least twice and then decide. This last week I tried a “BURN” class. It is a cardio circuit class. I found I enjoyed it but didn’t get as great of a benefit from it as I do when I do the same thing on my own. On my own I work it harder and consistently. In the class you have to stop and slow down for things to be explained, so I will go it on my own and feel like I get a better workout. Last week I also tried YOGA 3 times. I decided it is not for me. It irritates me more than relaxes me. I think I can better serve myself and be more relaxed by doing my workout with the cardio machines and strength training plans. Just give something a try!
Hey, thanks for listening and sharing my enthusiasm of moving and aqua Zumba! It really is a blast! Moving more and exercising harder really does feel awesome! Besides, I take my exercise time and turn it into God & me time. We have great conversations. Well, at least I talk and He listens. I do hear Him talk to me in the songs I listen to while we are spending time together. You ought to give it a try!
"If you want to look smaller, just carry a larger purse.
Where's the luggage Department?"
Push it, harder, keep going, push a little more. 62, 78, 93, 112, 143, 156, 175. Easy, slow down, ease up. 160, 152, 136, 122, 118. Steady, easy, level out. Now the sweat is pouring out. It feels great to push it to the limit; to do the bike and work the cardio. The drenched shirt, the soaked hair; the droplets off the nose. The trickle rolls past the forehead onto the glasses lens, over the cheeks and down the chin. Wetness in all the cracks and crevices. The signs of a great workout.
I hope this will get some of you moving. I know there are some of you that wish to feel better and moving will provide that. I know you may not do 2 hours and 15 minutes of workout like I did today or my usual one hour and 30 minutes to one hour and 45 minutes a day. I know when you start, 5 minutes may be all you can do, but keep at it! When I started 5 minutes on the bike and 5 minutes on the ARC trainer was exhausting. Then I began adding the weight training/strength training and 15 minutes was my max. It was a slow process and each week I went longer and harder. Progress is all you need to focus on. Do what you can and increase with time! As I get bored or sluggish I add something else. I have added the row machine, the treadmill, a different floor circuit and different weight machines. I have added aqua Zumba and Pilates sometimes. Just make it fun. Explore until you find things you enjoy. It doesn’t hurt to try something at least twice and then decide. This last week I tried a “BURN” class. It is a cardio circuit class. I found I enjoyed it but didn’t get as great of a benefit from it as I do when I do the same thing on my own. On my own I work it harder and consistently. In the class you have to stop and slow down for things to be explained, so I will go it on my own and feel like I get a better workout. Last week I also tried YOGA 3 times. I decided it is not for me. It irritates me more than relaxes me. I think I can better serve myself and be more relaxed by doing my workout with the cardio machines and strength training plans. Just give something a try!
Hey, thanks for listening and sharing my enthusiasm of moving and aqua Zumba! It really is a blast! Moving more and exercising harder really does feel awesome! Besides, I take my exercise time and turn it into God & me time. We have great conversations. Well, at least I talk and He listens. I do hear Him talk to me in the songs I listen to while we are spending time together. You ought to give it a try!
"If you want to look smaller, just carry a larger purse.
Where's the luggage Department?"
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
New Beginnings
As of Sunday (12th) I am 48 years old. A new year beginning. A few years ago I felt 84 years old. Today I feel 48 thanks to gastric bypass surgery, eating healthier, although at times slipping into the old eating habits. I am exercising like I have never exercised before and loving it. I actually love to sweat! Talk about new beginnings. I can remember when exercise was a dirty 4 letter word not to be muttered on my lips or a thought to dance through my head. I couldn't do it, didn’t want to do it and refused to do it! Now I crave it! It refreshes my outlook mentally and emotionally and strengthens me physically. It gives me time with God--just Him and I. That refreshes my spirit. Talk about new beginnings and new outlooks/perspectives.
This week I started Aqua Zumba!!! Now that is for me! I loved it! It is a good cardio. No I still can’t do the arm moves with the leg moves. It is impossible to move as fast as the music due to the water resistance. Everyone struggled with that, so it wasn’t just me and my “flailing” skin. At least I didn't wipe anyone out in a "tidal wave". I sucked at hoopla hoop as a kid and my hips do NOT move independently from my knees. So the “salsa” moves with the hips are a no go for me, but I make up for it in the leg movements. No one can see you not moving the hips anyway! I am just interested in the cardio aspect and it is certainly that! I did really love it. I wish it were taught 3-4 times a week, but it isn’t unless you can make the morning class (10:45). So Monday nights are the only time I can go. There was a gal there I know and she and I laughed the whole class. If you can't laugh at yourself then life is too tough.
I also started a new floor routine I learned at the support meeting at IWLS last week. Oh my goodness, talk about a workout. It was time for me to change to a new routine. I think my body had gotten used to the weight/strength training machines routine I was doing. I had upped the weight and reps, but just didn't feel like it was working. I was getting a little sore/stretched, but just was bored with it most of the time. Anyway, I started this routine that focuses on abs, glutes, arms and legs. You do a set of exercises (Abs-7 different ones; Glutes 13; Legs 13; and Arms 7) for 45 seconds each. I made it to at least 30 seconds on most, some 45 seconds; so I will have to work up to the 45 seconds on all of them. I don't have the clock to look at so I have to remember to count to keep track of my time. Actually I have a clock, but my eye sight isn't good enough to see the second hand and exercise at the same time. A year older….. Who knows, maybe I went longer than I thought. It took me an hour to do the entire routine. Sure felt good at the end. I was tired, sweaty and felt strong. Now I am feeling the complaints from the thigh. I know tomorrow will be a screamer day for all those muscles and I will love it! I will do cardio and water aerobics to give them a rest.
Tonight I tried for the 1st time--Yoga. I had no idea what I was getting into. I was apprehensive, but excited for a new adventure. As I said, if you can't laugh at yourself! I figured if I couldn't do it, then I didn't have to return, but I just might find another outlet I enjoy. Like Aqua Zumba. I've learned through coaching with Ronda at ILWS that I should be open to new things. That is a challenge for me. I don't like to go out on a limb and face new situations and I did that tonight not knowing anyone in the class. I've done a lot of that in the last few months. I have a hard time being idle. I feel like I have to be busy all the time or I am wasting time and that drives me nuts. So Yoga being a quiet, breathing, introspective time was going to be an added challenge. I found I enjoyed the time with myself. I focused on my breathing, relaxing and communicating with God on a quiet level. I really think I will enjoy it. I will give it another try Thursday evening. I may have to by knee pads though because my knees don’t get along real well with the hard floor, even with the THIN mat between them. First I will try using a thicker mat under the thin mat. If that doesn’t work and I decide to stick with it I will buy knee pads and I think that will suffice.
My new beginnings have also centered on my "own-ness". This has centered for years around friendships. I have talked in the past about not being myself, but an extension of someone else. I have been discovering myself. I love the independence I have been feeling. The separation of self from someone else. It has allowed me room to allow my friends room. My expectations for them are so different. Sadly sometimes indifferent, but in a good way for me. I have certainly found a peace within myself. I have also grown a stronger peace within my relationship with God. That relationship I intend to continue to focus on and work on diligently.
This week I began a new season of Bible study at church. I am excited for the friendships within that group to bloom. To be able to grow in Christ in a safe situation and have some "girlfriends" to do it with. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" Proverbs 27:17 I also started another long distance Bible study with a dear friend from 29 years ago. She is a friend that has come back into my life in the last 3 years. We did a study over the summer via email and phone conversations. We took a month off and started another study this week. My birthday brought a lot of "presents" as Tracy put it.
I have ventured outside of my comfort zone and taken on a new challenge this week. I have started an online writing class. I don't know much about it yet, but am excited for the challenge I hope it will provide. I want to hone my skills and funnel this inspiration God has placed in me again after many years of writer stagnation. It is a 10 week class with assignments each week and I should write daily. I'm jumping into new waters and I think I am loving it.
I have a few more goals beginning. I have some plans with steps to take to make it to the next level. Daily I will work on them. For right now I am happy where I am physically, mentally and emotionally. I am not dependant on any one person and any one person's actions or lack thereof has little influence over my feelings. That is a new concept for me. I read just recently a book by Sandi Patty "The Edge of the Divine". She wrote about the edge and defined it as "the point at which something is likely to begin." Well, a lot of things are beginning for me.
Recently I wrote something: "Life gets busy and so many things get placed on the back burner or buried in the junk drawer. That doesn't mean we don't care for the things or people laid aside for a time. Each season in life brings new and different priorities. We take care of what we have to for the here and now and pray the neglected will climb to the top of the priority list and get taken care of too at some point. My only fear is that you can't put the petals back on the roses. We just have to hope a new bloom will grow and afford us the time to nurture it. God gave us 2nd chances and I pray that will apply to relationships. I have had several in the last few years that I thought were lost forever and they have resurfaced just when I needed them most. I've had some I thought would last forever and the petals have turned to wilted silk. I have had to readjust my thinking and accept that the status quo isn't so bad. Even keel is okay sometimes. There is no such thing as forever." And I am okay with all of it.
So as my 48th year begins, so does a lot of new thinking and more beginnings in life. Watch out world "I am woman, hear me roar"! Watch me grow! It is great to be on the edge.
Live for the moments that take your breath away.
This week I started Aqua Zumba!!! Now that is for me! I loved it! It is a good cardio. No I still can’t do the arm moves with the leg moves. It is impossible to move as fast as the music due to the water resistance. Everyone struggled with that, so it wasn’t just me and my “flailing” skin. At least I didn't wipe anyone out in a "tidal wave". I sucked at hoopla hoop as a kid and my hips do NOT move independently from my knees. So the “salsa” moves with the hips are a no go for me, but I make up for it in the leg movements. No one can see you not moving the hips anyway! I am just interested in the cardio aspect and it is certainly that! I did really love it. I wish it were taught 3-4 times a week, but it isn’t unless you can make the morning class (10:45). So Monday nights are the only time I can go. There was a gal there I know and she and I laughed the whole class. If you can't laugh at yourself then life is too tough.
I also started a new floor routine I learned at the support meeting at IWLS last week. Oh my goodness, talk about a workout. It was time for me to change to a new routine. I think my body had gotten used to the weight/strength training machines routine I was doing. I had upped the weight and reps, but just didn't feel like it was working. I was getting a little sore/stretched, but just was bored with it most of the time. Anyway, I started this routine that focuses on abs, glutes, arms and legs. You do a set of exercises (Abs-7 different ones; Glutes 13; Legs 13; and Arms 7) for 45 seconds each. I made it to at least 30 seconds on most, some 45 seconds; so I will have to work up to the 45 seconds on all of them. I don't have the clock to look at so I have to remember to count to keep track of my time. Actually I have a clock, but my eye sight isn't good enough to see the second hand and exercise at the same time. A year older….. Who knows, maybe I went longer than I thought. It took me an hour to do the entire routine. Sure felt good at the end. I was tired, sweaty and felt strong. Now I am feeling the complaints from the thigh. I know tomorrow will be a screamer day for all those muscles and I will love it! I will do cardio and water aerobics to give them a rest.
Tonight I tried for the 1st time--Yoga. I had no idea what I was getting into. I was apprehensive, but excited for a new adventure. As I said, if you can't laugh at yourself! I figured if I couldn't do it, then I didn't have to return, but I just might find another outlet I enjoy. Like Aqua Zumba. I've learned through coaching with Ronda at ILWS that I should be open to new things. That is a challenge for me. I don't like to go out on a limb and face new situations and I did that tonight not knowing anyone in the class. I've done a lot of that in the last few months. I have a hard time being idle. I feel like I have to be busy all the time or I am wasting time and that drives me nuts. So Yoga being a quiet, breathing, introspective time was going to be an added challenge. I found I enjoyed the time with myself. I focused on my breathing, relaxing and communicating with God on a quiet level. I really think I will enjoy it. I will give it another try Thursday evening. I may have to by knee pads though because my knees don’t get along real well with the hard floor, even with the THIN mat between them. First I will try using a thicker mat under the thin mat. If that doesn’t work and I decide to stick with it I will buy knee pads and I think that will suffice.
My new beginnings have also centered on my "own-ness". This has centered for years around friendships. I have talked in the past about not being myself, but an extension of someone else. I have been discovering myself. I love the independence I have been feeling. The separation of self from someone else. It has allowed me room to allow my friends room. My expectations for them are so different. Sadly sometimes indifferent, but in a good way for me. I have certainly found a peace within myself. I have also grown a stronger peace within my relationship with God. That relationship I intend to continue to focus on and work on diligently.
This week I began a new season of Bible study at church. I am excited for the friendships within that group to bloom. To be able to grow in Christ in a safe situation and have some "girlfriends" to do it with. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" Proverbs 27:17 I also started another long distance Bible study with a dear friend from 29 years ago. She is a friend that has come back into my life in the last 3 years. We did a study over the summer via email and phone conversations. We took a month off and started another study this week. My birthday brought a lot of "presents" as Tracy put it.
I have ventured outside of my comfort zone and taken on a new challenge this week. I have started an online writing class. I don't know much about it yet, but am excited for the challenge I hope it will provide. I want to hone my skills and funnel this inspiration God has placed in me again after many years of writer stagnation. It is a 10 week class with assignments each week and I should write daily. I'm jumping into new waters and I think I am loving it.
I have a few more goals beginning. I have some plans with steps to take to make it to the next level. Daily I will work on them. For right now I am happy where I am physically, mentally and emotionally. I am not dependant on any one person and any one person's actions or lack thereof has little influence over my feelings. That is a new concept for me. I read just recently a book by Sandi Patty "The Edge of the Divine". She wrote about the edge and defined it as "the point at which something is likely to begin." Well, a lot of things are beginning for me.
Recently I wrote something: "Life gets busy and so many things get placed on the back burner or buried in the junk drawer. That doesn't mean we don't care for the things or people laid aside for a time. Each season in life brings new and different priorities. We take care of what we have to for the here and now and pray the neglected will climb to the top of the priority list and get taken care of too at some point. My only fear is that you can't put the petals back on the roses. We just have to hope a new bloom will grow and afford us the time to nurture it. God gave us 2nd chances and I pray that will apply to relationships. I have had several in the last few years that I thought were lost forever and they have resurfaced just when I needed them most. I've had some I thought would last forever and the petals have turned to wilted silk. I have had to readjust my thinking and accept that the status quo isn't so bad. Even keel is okay sometimes. There is no such thing as forever." And I am okay with all of it.
So as my 48th year begins, so does a lot of new thinking and more beginnings in life. Watch out world "I am woman, hear me roar"! Watch me grow! It is great to be on the edge.
Live for the moments that take your breath away.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Contrasts & Perspectives
The Greatest sung by Kenny Rogers
Little boy in a baseball hat stands in the field with his ball and bat
Says, "I am the greatest player of them all"
Puts his bat on his shoulder and he tosses up his ball.
And the ball goes up and the ball comes down,
Swings his bat all the way around
The world so still you can hear the sound, the baseball falls to the ground.
Now the little boy doesn't say a word, picks up his ball he is undeterred.
Says, "I am the greatest that there has ever been"
And he grits his teeth and he tries again.
And the ball goes up and the ball comes down,
Swings his bat all the way around
The world so still you can hear the sound, the baseball falls to the ground.
He makes no excuses he shows no fear
He just closes his eyes and listens to the cheers.
Little boy he adjusts his hat, picks up his ball, stares at his bat
Says "I am the greatest when the game is on the line"
And he gives his all one last time.
And the ball goes up and the moon so bright
Swings his bat with all his might
The world's as still as still can be, the baseball falls
And that's strike three.
Now it's suppertime and his momma calls,
little boy starts home with his bat and ball.
Says, "I am the greatest, that is a fact,
But even I didn't know I could pitch like that!"
Says, "I am the greatest, that is understood,
But even I didn't know I could pitch that good!"
It is all in the perspective. With the right perspective we can continue on when it looks to the world that we have lost or failed. We are the greatest if that is how we see ourselves.
I am smaller in size and less in weight, but larger in confidence and stronger in physical strength. I can do things I haven’t been able to do in years.
I feel I am younger, yet today I am older in years.
I feel stronger, surer and larger somehow; more capable than ever before!!
Two years of “down-sizing” has left me bigger in so many ways.
Live for the moments that take your breath away.
Little boy in a baseball hat stands in the field with his ball and bat
Says, "I am the greatest player of them all"
Puts his bat on his shoulder and he tosses up his ball.
And the ball goes up and the ball comes down,
Swings his bat all the way around
The world so still you can hear the sound, the baseball falls to the ground.
Now the little boy doesn't say a word, picks up his ball he is undeterred.
Says, "I am the greatest that there has ever been"
And he grits his teeth and he tries again.
And the ball goes up and the ball comes down,
Swings his bat all the way around
The world so still you can hear the sound, the baseball falls to the ground.
He makes no excuses he shows no fear
He just closes his eyes and listens to the cheers.
Little boy he adjusts his hat, picks up his ball, stares at his bat
Says "I am the greatest when the game is on the line"
And he gives his all one last time.
And the ball goes up and the moon so bright
Swings his bat with all his might
The world's as still as still can be, the baseball falls
And that's strike three.
Now it's suppertime and his momma calls,
little boy starts home with his bat and ball.
Says, "I am the greatest, that is a fact,
But even I didn't know I could pitch like that!"
Says, "I am the greatest, that is understood,
But even I didn't know I could pitch that good!"
It is all in the perspective. With the right perspective we can continue on when it looks to the world that we have lost or failed. We are the greatest if that is how we see ourselves.
I am smaller in size and less in weight, but larger in confidence and stronger in physical strength. I can do things I haven’t been able to do in years.
I feel I am younger, yet today I am older in years.
I feel stronger, surer and larger somehow; more capable than ever before!!
Two years of “down-sizing” has left me bigger in so many ways.
Live for the moments that take your breath away.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
BS/PS Hoopla
BS = Before Surgery
PS = Post Surgery
BS one lap around the edge of the lawn mowing = dying for air and extreme pain in the back. Solution = sit down and breathe!!!
PS mow the entire lawn with no pain in back and not out of breath at all. It felt so GOOD!!!!
Another blessing to add to the list of successes of surgery!
PS = Post Surgery
BS one lap around the edge of the lawn mowing = dying for air and extreme pain in the back. Solution = sit down and breathe!!!
PS mow the entire lawn with no pain in back and not out of breath at all. It felt so GOOD!!!!
Another blessing to add to the list of successes of surgery!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
